Funny but true list

This is something that I saw another blogger post, although I did slightly alter a few since they didn't really "fit" with me. I don't know who originally wrote this, but I thought it was pretty funny!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history and toy box if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. (But it doesn't stop me from insisting that I'm right!)

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (I can't even remember the last time I had an opportunity to take a nap without having to put something else off!)

4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (I don't actually have this problem, but I'm sure some people do)

5. Was learning cursive really necessary? (You don't even want to see my handwriting, and good luck reading my printing - I created my own version where certain letters are    capitals regardless of their placement in the sentence and my H's look like L's!)

6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

9. Bad decisions make good stories.

10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. (I've actually only got a few Blue Ray, and that's only because they came with the DVD)

12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of the page and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my article that I swear I did not make any changes to.

13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

14. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Beer than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid bad neighborhood" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. (Or even why I enjoyed it. Some of my old favorites are awful!)

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Holiday Gift Guide Review - Simple Times

Simple Times: Crafts For Poor People
by Amy Sedaris
isbn: 9780446557030
pub date: 11/02/2010

Description:

America's most delightfully unconventional hostess and the bestselling author of I Like You delivers a new book that will forever change the world of crafting. According to Amy Sedaris, it's often been said that ugly people craft and attractive people have sex. In her new book, SIMPLE TIMES, she sets the record straight. Demonstrating that crafting is one of life's more pleasurable and constructive leisure activities, Sedaris shows that anyone with a couple of hours to kill and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters.

You will discover how to make popular crafts, such as: crab-claw roach clips, tinfoil balls, and crepe-paper moccasins, and learn how to: get inspired (Spend time at a Renaissance Fair; Buy fruit, let it get old, and see

what shapes it turns into); remember which kind of glue to use with which material (Tacky with Furry, Gummy with Gritty, Paste with Prickly, and always Gloppy with Sandy); create your own craft room and avoid the most common crafting accidents (sawdust fires, feather asphyxia, pine cone lodged in throat); and cook your own edible crafts, from a Crafty Candle Salad to Sugar Skulls, and many more recipes.

PLUS whole chapters full of more crafting ideas (Pompom Ringworms! Seashell Toilet Seat Covers!) that will inspire you to create your own hastily constructed obscure d'arts; and much, much more!

My Review:  When I received this book, I had no clue what to expect as I had no clue who Amy Sedaris was! I was surprised to find that the content of the book was not the typical family crafting time crafts and was laughing hysterically after flipping through the pages for a short time. If you are easily offended by things like nude drawings, this book won't be for you, but if you enjoy a good laugh this book is a definite must. It might even give you a few ideas to pass on to the kids - but I wouldn't recommend letting them read this book. While this book is full of crafty things you can make out of recycled materials, I enjoyed it much more for the humor that runs throughout than the actual craft instructions. A new favorite on my shelf!